Lost!
by Lorwen
Summary: It has been more than 2000 years since they first met, now Lorwen, Elladan and Elrohir are young adults and face Middle Earth together. On this camping trip, not everything seems to go according to plan... In fact, nothing goes as planned.


***Just a doodle (not really the right word) to see how people respond to this next level in my imagination, after A Father's Tragedy (which I still need to complete :(***

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"Put him over there, against the rock" Elrohir groaned as he urged Lorwen towards the rock he pointed out in the darkness, hoping she'd see it. He held Elladan's right arm over his shoulders and Lorwen held his left arm in much the same way, dragging an unconscious and badly bleeding Elladan with them and he was getting extremely heavy.

"There's not much shelter for him like this" Lorwen sighed as the relentless rain fell down on all three of them while Elrohir tried to take a closer look to the injury on his brother's thigh.

"And I can't see a bloody thing" Elrohir muttered, digging deeper into the pack of clothing they had already pressed against the bleeding injury, pressing his hand against the wound he tried to stop the bleeding but sighed. "There's no use in trying to start a fire either" he sighed as he looked into the darkness surrounding him. Lighting lighted up the area briefly and it was enough for him to see how Lorwen checked Elladan's pulse.

"We have to stop the bleeding and we have to warm him up" she sighed. "He's freezing."

"He's not alone" Elrohir moaned.

"I'll see if I can get the tent up" Lorwen suggested as she got up and slid through the mud towards the skittish horses that danced near them.

"It's to dark!" Elrohir shouted after her.

"It doesn't have to be pretty!" Lorwen shouted back above the loud thunder that rolled through the area, spooking the horses even more. "Just dry!" she added as it fell silent again. Releasing the saddles from the horses she tied them to a brush nearby and gathered the equipment she needed. In the pouring rain she hammered the pins into the ground above Elladan and Elrohir who still kept his hand pressed against the gushing wound on his brother's leg.

Pulling the oiled leather cloth taut above their heads she hammered the pins into the ground on the other side as well before she pulled their equipment under the cloth at their feet so it could dry and help to keep the tent up since it only gave them little room to move.

"We're out of the rain now" Elrohir sighed as she moved to Elladan's other side, "but I still can't see a damned thing and he's still bleeding" he groaned.

"Can you hold this?" Lorwen asked, pushing him a candle in his hand.

"Where did you get this?" Elrohir asked as she tried to light it with the tinderbox.

"My saddlebag" she groaned as she tried again and failed.

"Why did you bring a candle?"

"No idea" she moaned as she failed again. "But I'm glad that I did" she sighed. "Damned!" she cursed as she couldn't seem to light it.

"Let me try" Elrohir suggested. "Give me your hand" he asked and pulled her hand towards Elladan's injury, pressing it straight onto the wound.

"Elrohir..." Lorwen gasped as she realised where he had pushed her hand and felt uncomfortable.

"What?" he asked, handing her the candle back.

"It's his groin... I'm not sure... it's appropriate for me to..." she whispered, closing her eyes as she could feel his genitals rested against her wrist.

"He's unconscious" Elrohir waved it away and tried to light the candle.

"Still..."

"Would you rather have him bleed to death while I light this?" he asked slightly angry.

"No ofcourse not" she replied quickly, "but..."

"There" Elrohir sighed contently as he had managed to get a flame going on the wick of the candle. "I'll try to cover him up so you don't have to see his junk" he sighed as he placed the tinderbox aside and pulled her hand with the candle closer so he could see the injury.

"His junk?" Lorwen asked with a frown.

"His genitals" Elrohir rephrased and tried to soak up some of the blood with the clothes they had pressed against the wound, allowing his eyes to get used to the light before he took a look at the injury without his brother loosing too much blood.

"I already saw them" Lorwen replied softly and lowered her gaze as Elrohir suddenly looked up at her. Even by the scarese light of the candle he could see that she blushed bright red. "I surprised him while he was taking a swim... I didn't know he wasn't wearing anything..."

"We only wear our leggings when you are with us" he smirked. "If not, we don't wear anything at all."

"I know, I know" Lorwen moaned. "Let's concentrate on his injury, shall we?" she muttered and positionned the candle besides the injury so they could see it. "Ready?" she asked before pulling her hand off the wound.

"Ready" Elrohir nodded and they both stared at the injury for a few moments before Elrohir pushed her hand back on the gushing bleeding and groaned loudly.

"It's his femoral artery" Lorwen gasped and pressed her fingers onto the rupture even harder.

"There's nothing we can do to stop the bleeding" Elrohir moaned as Lorwen checked Elladan's pulse after Elrohir took the candle from her.

"We have to cauterize it" Lorwen suggested.

"With what? This?" Elrohir asked, lifting the candle. "Do you even know how long it will take before we can heat up a knife with a candle?"

"Do you have another suggestion?" she asked, grabbing the knife in her boot already and held the tip into the flame of the candle.

"We only have one shot at this" he sighed as he took the knife from her and held it.

"Better make it count" she nodded and looked at him over the flame. His eyes seemed like two dark orbs that fixed on hers and for a moment neither of them looked away and continued to stare in the other's eyes until Elladan moaned and moved his head, breaking the captivating stare they both had found themselves in. "Hush Elladan" Lorwen tried to calm him, cupping his cheek with her free hand. "We're here. We're trying to help you."

"I'm... so... cold" he moaned and shivered violently.

"We'll warm you up in a minute" Elrohir promised. "Just try to rest. Preserve your strength. Lay still."

"Hold on alright?" Lorwen asked, gently caressing his cheek and smiled at him as he looked at her.

"I'll try" he sighed and closed his eyes again.

Silence fell as neither Lorwen or Elrohir dared to speak about his condition or what they were about to do now that he was more or less conscious. Several minutes passed until the blade became searing hot and they exchanged a glance. Silently Elrohir counted down from three to zero and when he mouthed the last number Lorwen pulled her hand back and he pressed the blade into the wound.

Elladan howled in agonizing pain, arched up and fell back as he lost consciousness with a sob as his flesh sizzled at the touch with the hot steel. His sudden move had extinguished the candle and all they could see was the hot steel that slowly faded as Elrohir tossed it aside and tried to light the candle again.

"It stopped bleeding" he sighed after a few agonizing minutes and drew a deep breath in relief.

"We need to close the wound now" she sighed.

"You'd better do that" Elrohir moaned as he showed her his bloodied free hand that trembled deftly. "I don't think I can hold a needle" he added. Covering his hand with her own bloodied hand she squeezed it gently for support before she took the candle and went in search for the needle and thread that they had in their packs. She closed the injury while he lighted the wound with the candle and he watched her work, admiring her steady hand and looked up to her face.

With a silent sigh he closed his eyes until he suddenly felt her hand on his, pulling the candle closer so she could tie the knot to the thread.

"Any suggestions on how we can warm him up?" she asked softly, pressing a clean bandage against the wound, wrapping it around his leg.

"Only one" Elrohir sighed and started to remove Elladan's wet clothes.

"Isn't he going to get colder without his clothes?" Lorwen remarked, hesitantly helping him to remove the tunic, shirt and the remnants of his leggings.

"Get the blanket?" Elrohir asked softly and as she turned to get it he started to undress himself as well. "Body warmth" he replied to her gasp as she saw him whirm out of his leggings as well and pulled his boots back on. "It's all we have" he sighed as he laid himself down besides Elladan and pulled the blanket up to his chin.

A sudden gust of wind extinguished the candle again and for a moment the only movement that could be seen in the darkness was Elrohir's attempt to warm his brother up by rubbing over his shoulders and arms. Lorwen sat as frozen as she debated what to do. They had to warm Elladan up or he might not survive the night. But the idea alone... Closing her eyes she realized she had to try everything to maximize his chances of survial and started to pull her boots off. It was dark after all, how much could be seen under the tent?

"What are you doing?" Elrohir asked as she started whirming out of her tunic and shirt, but he already knew the answer.

"If I have to make a choice between being squeamish or saving Elladan's life" she muttered as she tossed her wet clothes in the direction Elrohir had thrown his and whirmed herself under the blanket besides Elladan, "I'm choosing his life" she replied and shivered violently as she now felt the cold on her own skin.

"You don't have to do this" Elrohir whispered over his brother's body and looked at her as she moved under the blanket as well.

"Yes I do" she muttered. "Turn him on his side. That way we can warm more of his body with ours" she suggested and moved against Elladan's chest as Elrohir helped to roll him over. They both pressed themselves against his unresponsive body and reached for the other over Elladan's side, holding on to eachother so they could hold him up in between them.

"Lorwen?" Elrohir asked after a few minutes of silence had fallen between them and their warmth was already clearly tangible under the blanket.

"Yes?" she replied, her teeth no longer clattering.

"Thank you" he whispered. "For doing this."

"I'm sure he would do the same for us" she replied softly, squeezing Elrohir's arm gently.

"I'm sure" Elrohir sighed and closed his eyes. The knowledge that the elleth he cared about most in his life laid naked on the other side of his brother had a strange effect on his body and since he was pressed up against his brother's back he couldn't quite mask his feelings for her. Therefor he was glad that is was to dark and that Elladan was unconsious.

Their warmth quickly rocked Lorwen to sleep and when she suddenly released her grip on Elrohir's arm he pressed his forehead against the back of Elladan's head and groaned softly. Here they were sleeping naked besides one another and Elladan obscured his view completely. It made him almost wish that he had been the one injured and lying in the middle.

Elrohir was the first to wake up and sighed deeply as he found Elladan had rolled against Lorwen completely and they both still seemed to be vast asleep. Finding his brother had warmed up Elrohir pulled away from his back and covered him with the blanket. Sitting up behind him he couldn't resist looking over his side to the elleth that still slept in front of his brother.

The blanket still obscured his view and with a silent groan he pulled from under the makeshift tent with his clothes and started to pull them on although they were still wet and cold. It had stopped raining for now, but the entire area was filled with fog and he could hardly see ten yards in either direction. The cold clothes against his junk as he had called it helped him to calm and relax his body after the intense night they had just had.

Inhaling the cold and foggy air deeply he decided to look around, trying to get a bearing of his exact position but the terrain seemed unfamiliar to him and the fog made it impossible to see any landmarks surrounding him. An eerie silence fell around him as the fog closed in on him and he suddenly found himself surrounded by it, his visability declined to only a few yards around him.

Allowing his mind to roam freely over the events of the last couple of days he quickly found himself swept away by his daydreams regarding the elleth that never seemed to leave his mind of late. He smiled as in his reveries he wasn't held back by his own uncertainties or any kind inhihitions.

"Elrohir?!" he suddenly heard Lorwen cry for him and he was surprised by the fear and concern he could hear in her voice. "Where are you?" she added and he turned to look at where their camp was, realizing she couldn't see him, nor could he see her.

"Over here" he replied loudly.

"Are you alright?" she asked, again he noticed the concern in her voice and frowned, why wouldn't he be?

"I am" he replied softly and smiled as she appeared through the fog, heading towards him, wearing her shirt and leggings again.

"I woke up and I couldn't find you" she whispered as she reached him. "I thought an animal had dragged you with it..." she gasped as she reached for him and wrapped her arms around him.

"And I went quietly and it allowed me to take my clothes with me?" he smirked, wrapping his arms around her as well.

"I... Didn't quite... think" she sighed looking up at him and lowered her head as she could see the mirth in his eyes.

"Obviously" he smirked, unaware of the fact that he hurt her with his laughter.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, releasing him and took some distance from him.

"Trying to figure out where we are" he sighed, believing she took her distance since she wanted his brother, not him.

"Not today" Lorwen sighed as she looked around.

"I can't even hear anything" he sighed, throwing her a longing look but then lowered his gaze.

"Perhaps we should go back and try to set up the tent properly now that we have some light?" she suggested.

"Probably" he groaned and realised why she wanted to go back.

"Are you alright?" she asked, again the annoying concern in her voice and it almost made him angry.

"I'm fine" he curtly replied and passed her by towards the camp, refusing to look back he missed the sadness that appeared in her eyes and she tried to hold back her tears as he always seemed to push her away when she needed him. Everytime she tried to get close to him he seemed to become somebody else and always ended up pushing her away, she didn't understand why or what she had done wrong.

Following him back to the camp they silently started to set the tent up properly so that they could make an attempt at making a fire. When that was done they both set out to find some firewood that wasn't to soaked, but after the recent downfall it wasn't that easy.

Elladan remained unresponsive for most of the day. Unaware of the struggles both of his companions suffered since neither one of them wanted to upset the other.

Having succeeded in starting a fire Elrohir had started to get them something to eat while Lorwen draped out some of their wet clothes around the fire so that they could dry. He cut himself as he was staring at her and winced as he pushed his fingers into his mouth while she whirled around and again asked the annoying phraze.

"Are you alright?"

"Save your concern for him" he muttered as he looked at the cut. Closing her eyes she lowered her head and headed towards Elladan.

"What are you doing?" Elladan growled as he felt something on his groin and frowned as he found Lorwen sat in between his legs. "Lorwen?" he gasped and tried to pull away.

"I'm just checking your injury" she assured him, but he realized he wasn't wearing any leggings anymore and struggled to get away from her. "Please sit still before you injure yourself."

"Where's Elrohir?" he moaned. Lorwen moved aside so that Elladan could see his brother near the fire. "Elrohir, please" Elladan moaned. "You do it?"

"Let her do it" Elrohir muttered.

"No, don't" Elladan moaned as she persisted. "Don't touch me!" he finally growled and watched her recoil away from him. "Elrohir?" Elladan asked as she ran from the tent and Elrohir watched her go with sorrow and sadness as he believed his brother had chased her away from him and all she wanted was to take care of him.

"What is wrong with you?" Elrohir muttered as he moved towards his brother and sat down where she had been. "Can't you see that all she wants is to take care of you?"

"You can't let her treat such an intimate injury" Elladan growled. "She's no healer and she's an elleth."

"I would gladly let her treat me if I were you" he muttered as he refreshed the bandage and the ointment on the injury. "I would almost welcome it" he sighed.

"Then talk to her" Elladan moaned.

"What would that serve me? It's you she wants. Isn't that obvious? And then you treat her like dirt" he muttered.

"I don't treat her like dirt" he replied undignified. "I just think it's wrong that an elleth has to treat an injury like this. Especially since she is no healer. It's inappropriate!"

"If you find that inappropriate" Elrohir muttered as he wrapped the bandage around his leg, "you don't want to hear how we warmed you up last night" he added with a growl.

"How?" Elladan asked.

"Bodywarmth" Elrohir replied and tucked in the edges of the bandage. "And I would gladly trade places with you at any moment."

"Elrohir" Elladan moaned, but his brother already got up and left the tent.

"Lorwen?" Elrohir asked as he found her after searching for her in the foggy area for quite some time. "Hey" he sighed as he sat down besides her and rested his arms on his knees, pulling them against his chest.

"Why won't he let me treat him?" she moaned.

"He thinks it's inappropriate for you to put your hands on such an intimate place" he replied with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood.

"See, I told you it was inappropriate" she sighed.

"After last night I thought we longsince passed what's appropriate" he smirked. "No Lorwen, we are only doing what we need to survive. I'm pretty sure that the people back home will appreciate it more that we all make it home, than to loose one or all of us because we had to do something inappropriate."

"I do think it might be best if we don't tell them... I'm sure ada will not approve."

"I think we are old enough to decided what to do" he sighed.

"We think we are yes. They think we aren't" she sighed and looked at him. "Elrohir" Lorwen sighed.

"I understand Lorwen" he sighed.

"No you don't" she moaned.

"We have to go back before our dinner is burnt" he silenced her and offered her his hand. Again they avoided speaking to each other about their feelings for one another while they silently ate. Elladan dozed off shortly after, leaving them alone again, but neither of them dared saying anything.

Sitting up with a start Lorwen looked around in the darkness as the fire had died out and tried to figure out what had woken her. Feeling cold and miserable after her nightmare she looked at the two sleeping elves besides her and wondered if they'd be upset if she crawled in between them like she normally did when sleeping outdoors.

"What are you doing?" Elrohir moaned sleepily as she snuggled up against him.

"I need you" she whispered softly, hoping he wasn't fully awake yet and smiled as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his chest.

"I'm here" he sighed, believing he was dreaming she had come to him, just like he had done several times before. She knew he always behaved differently if he wasn't completely awake or woozy. He never tried to push her away or laugh with her when he was like this. He almost behaved like he loved her and that was exactly what she wanted. At first it had made her wonder who he thought she was and felt jealouse, but she had longsince pushed that idea away and enjoyed his presence.

He on the other hand never remembered what he had done during the night and always wondered why she was lying against him instead of his brother, but never sought more behind it as it pained him too much to realize she was in love with his brother and not him.

"Comfortable?" he asked after she had nestled herself in his arms.

"Mhm" she moaned, rubbing her cheek against his chest and looked up at him. Unlike the other times he now moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her even closer than before and gently pressed his lips on hers. Lorwen froze, he had never done this before. What should she do? Return his kiss? Or wake him? Feeling her body reacted to his kiss already by replying to it she screamed at herself, but quickly gave up.

"Night love" he whispered after the kiss and rubbed his cheek against the top of her head.

"Night... love" she replied hesitantly.

Again he woke with her besides him and wondered what had happened during the night as he had clearly seen her on Elladan's other side before he went to sleep. Deciding to take advantage of her presence he remained where he was and tried to lay still, until he saw Elladan's eyes on him and he pulled back slightly, waking her in the progress.

"Just a few more minutes?" Lorwen moaned softly, nestling herself against him again.

Elrohir closed his eyes as he enjoyed her body against his, but the criticizing grumble originating from Elladan ruined the feeling for him and he quickly stammered an excuse and fled from the tent.

"Elrohir?" she called after him, but he mistook it as surprise that she ended up in his arms instead of Elladan's, rather than disappointement that he had ran from her. Lowering herself to the ground again with a disappointed moan she closed her eyes in an attempt to keep her tears at bay.

"He was taking advantage of you" Elladan sighed, believing she was upset.

"Advantage? How?" Lorwen asked, pushing herself up and looked at him.

"Holding you while you sleep" Elladan replied.

"I went to him!" she exclaimed. "I wanted him to hold me" she moaned. "He always pushes me away."

"You want him to hold you?" he asked surprised.

"I took advantage of him Elladan" she moaned, lowering her head. "When he's sleeping or not completely awake he holds me and is nice to me" she whispered. "As if he doesn't know who I am."

"He knows damn well who you are" Elladan muttered.

"Who is it that he loves Elladan?" she asked softly. "Do I know her?"

"Lorwen" he moaned.

"Please, just tell me? I won't... I won't tell anybody you told me. I won't tell her... I won't tell him... I won't hurt her! I just... I want to know who he loves" she whispered. "I want to know what he likes... Who he likes... So I can... be what he likes..."

"Lorwen" he sternly silenced her. "If you have to pretend to be somebody else just to make him love you, he's not worth the trouble!" Elladan growled.

"He is to me" Lorwen cried. "I will do everything for him to feel for me what he feels for her! Everything!" she exclaimed and moved closer to him. "Please tell me who it is Elladan, please" she pleaded.

"It is you" he softly replied. "It is you he loves."

"It can't be" she frowned.

"It is" Elladan sighed.

"He keeps pushing me away! He..."

"He still thinks you love me, Lorwen" Elladan sighed and lowered his gaze. "He doesn't push you away, he takes his distance so he can't take advantage of you... He thinks you love me and are only being nice to him because he is my brother..."

"But..."

"I've told him again and again to talk to you about his feelings, but he's to stubborn..."

"Are you sure?" Lorwen asked.

"That is why he's so nice and sweet when he's not completely awake or to drunk to realize it's real. He dreams about you daily Lorwen. He thinks he's still dreaming."

"I have to talk to him" she moaned and moved towards the exit of the tent.

"Why haven't you yet?" he asked as he watched her go.

"Because he always pushed me away... he always urges me to go to you. To talk to you. Take care of you..."

"Don't let him turn you away this time" Elladan smiled encouragingly and sighed as he watched her disappear. Dropping his head back on the makeshift pillow he closed his eyes.

"Elrohir!" Lorwen called after him as she headed into the direction his footprints went, but she couldn't see him anywhere. "Elrohir, where are you?!" she shouted loudely as she nearly slipped on the mud and only just managed to stay upstraight by leaning on a rock in front of her. "Elrohir!" she called him again as she couldn't hear or see him anywhere. Concern and anger seeped into her voice as she called his name a fourth time and broke of his name a fifth time as she suddenly stared into a deep abyss at her feet and carefully sat down on the edge to look down.

An immense crater spread out in front of her, completely overgrown with vegetation so that the edge was almost completely invisible. Looking down she couldn't see anything but vegetation and felt her heart sank in her chest as she realised Elrohir must have fallen down.

"Elrohir!" she screamed almost hysterically and clung to the edge trying to find him. "No" she cried loudly. "Elrohir!"

Pulling back she tried to get her emotions under control before she looked over the edge again to find a way to get down and only then did she noticed the traces that Elrohir had left when he plunged through the vegetation. Trampled, squished and broken plants indicated that something had gone through them recently and at great speed. Finding no safer or alternative way of getting down she hesitated between going back to warn Elladan or to go down immediately to see if Elrohir needed help.

It only took a moment for her to decide which action to take and carefully lowered herself into the crater, trying to descend as slow as possible by holding on the vegetation that grew there. It seemed like she was descending for hours already when suddenly a plant's root couldn't hold her weight and she felt herself sliding down the slope with the plant still in her hand. Clawing at the other vegetation she pulled out several more before she grabbed hold of one that held her weight and breathed relieved as she looked down and noticed she wasn't even half way yet.

Continuing down she realised it would be next to impossible to climb back out if Elrohir was injured, but quickly forgot all about it as she ripped another plant from the ground and felt herself fall again. Crying out in surprise she tried to grab hold of something again, but nothing held her until she suddenly landed in a puddle of mud and splashed around in it fearing it would drag her under.

Struggling against an invisible pair of hands that tried to grab her she cried out as she was suddenly lifted from the mud and pulled up right.

"Are you alright?" Elrohir implored her as he tried to make sure she hadn't broken anything in the fall, but all he could see was mud.

"Elrohir!" Lorwen exclaimed, wrapped her arms around his neck and the movement caused them both to fall back into the mud. "Are you alright? Are you hurt?" she exclaimed as they tried to get up again.

"Cut, bruised and muddied" he sighed as he pulled her to the edge of the mud pool and dropped to the ground. "And exhausted. Are you?"

"Worried sick!" she exclaimed and hugged him again. "You didn't see the edge?"

"No" he admitted. "I plunged down. Thank the Valar for this mudpool" he sighed. "You saw it?"

"Just in time" she sighed.

"Still you came down? Why?"

"Because you went down... I feared you had broken your neck" she cried, clinging to him again. "I had to make sure you were still alive" she added, pressing her head against his muddied chest.

"What about Elladan?" he asked softly.

"He doesn't know" Lorwen shook her head. "I found it more important to reach you instead of loosing time by going back to tell him... He's still in the tent."

"Thank you" he smiled sadly, "for finding my rescue more important than him, but you should have staid with him..."

"Enough Elrohir" she silenced him with a growl. "I do not love him."

"You don't?" he asked surprised.

"No" she shook her head resolutely.

"Then..." he moaned and frowned although it was hardly possible to see it with all the mud on his face.

"Elrohir..." she whispered and placed her hand on his chest. She wanted to say more, but he silenced her with an unexpected gest as he suddenly pressed his lips on hers and kissed her, deepening it while they slid back into the mud and neither cared about their surroundings as they lost themselves in their kiss. "I love you" she whispered as he released her lips for a moment.

"I love you too" he moaned and pressed his lips on hers again while he laid on top of her in the mud, slowly intensifying the kiss until her leg pressed up in between his legs and they both felt Elrohir's length. For several moments they stared at eachother, mud now covered most of their bodies, including their hair. "We have to find a way back out of here" he whispered as he sat up and helped her up as well.

"Do we have to?" she asked softly, running her hand up his thigh.

"You want Elladan to come crashing down here with his injuries?" Elrohir asked.

"No" she shook her head slowly.

"He wouldn't survive" he sighed as he got up and helped her to stand as well.

"Elrohir..." Lorwen sighed, feeling he pushed her away again.

"I know" he sighed and looked at her.

"No, you don't know!" she exclaimed, surprising him with her outburst. "For decades I tried to tell you how I feel! Each and every time you brush me off! You tell me you know, you understand! But you don't know! You don't understand! And I don't want to take care of Elladan! I don't want to save my concerns for him! And I don't want to talk to him! I want to talk to you! Take care of you! Be concerned about you!" she shouted.

"Lorwen..." Elrohir sighed, but she wasn't finished yet.

"I begged Elladan to tell me who it was that you loved" she added, her voice slowly softening. "I wanted to know who she was so that I could model myself after her..." she admitted and even through the mud she could see that he frowned and moved towards her, but stopped before he reached her only now realising how much he had hurt her.

"I don't want you to pretend to be somebody else" he moaned. "I want you!" he stressed. "The way you are!"

"Then why did you push me away each time I wanted to express myself?!"

"Because I believed you loved Elladan!" he shouted.

"You didn't find it strange that I woke up in your arms on several occasions?"

"I welcomed it" he moaned. "I loved every second of it. I enjoyed it! But I feared it was a mistake" he groaned. "I thought you believed me to be Elladan... It felt like I was taking advantage of you..."

"It was deliberate" she sighed. "I waited until you slept before moving against you... You were so nice to me then... When you weren't fully awake..." she added and a sob escaped her lips so she quickly turned away so he wouldn't see the tears in her eyes.

"I dreamt about you every night and every day" he whispered as he stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "Last night I even felt jealous of Elladan's injuries because you... Valar Lorwen" he moaned as he turned her around and looked into her eyes, "if you only knew what it did to me to think of you, lying there naked against my brother's chest..." he groaned and felt his body reacted to the idea already. "I so wished I was him" he moaned.

"I'd rather have you unharmed" she whispered and gently placed her hands on his chest. "But I did think of you... lying there on Elladan's other side" she panted slightly. "I didn't reach over him for you to keep him upright... I reached for you because I wanted to feel you..."

"Feel me?" he asked, his mind started racing.

"I wanted... your support" she moaned. "Valar" she groaned as she pulled away from him and turned her back to him again. "I never realized it would be this difficult" she shook her head and hung it.

"What would?" he asked, moving after her again.

"Ever since I finished Garand's Advanced Anatomy book, I've known how ellon's are shaped" she whispered, pinching her eyes, not wanting to see the wonder or surprise in his eyes, or disapproval.

"I knew how elleths are shaped before we even got the subject" he whispered, placing his hands on her shoulders, gently squeezing them to show his support.

"I've wondered for centuries how it would feel" she whispered, leaning back to look at his face.

"Like this" he replied with a slight moan as he grabbed her hand and pressed it against his groin, closing his eyes as he felt her hand through the mud and the fabric.

"Not how your... junk... would feel" she sighed hesitantly, still not pulling her hand back until she turned to face him.

"Oh?" he replied, lowering his gaze slightly and frowned as his muddied clothes couldn't hide the bulge anymore now that her hand had been there.

"How it would feel" she whispered, moving closer to him, "to make love to you..." she added and returned his gaze as he lifted his head with a jolt and searched her eyes. "I know how it feels to..." she hesitated and even through the mud he could see she blushed and averted her eyes while she clawed her fingertips into his muddy clothes on his lower arms, "touch myself" she continued, her voice barely a whisper.

Elrohir's eyes went wide and he could feel his length hardened even further at her confession, unconsciously he grabbed hold of her lower arms as well, not wanting to let her go again.

"And I know they say that making love... to somebody... you really love" she added and met his gaze again, "feels ten times as good" she added not breaking the contact the shared. "At least" she added and averted her eyes again. "I had no idea I would feel so ashamed to say these things out loud to you..." she moaned, lowering her head.

"You don't need to feel ashamed" he whispered softly.

"I've never spoken to anybody about... this before" she whispered.

"We all have to start somewhere" he replied, equally soft and slowly slid his right hand down to her hand, slowly pulling it down to his groin again. "This is how it feels" he moaned as she curved her fingers around his erection, "when you speak of things like that" he added with a gasp as she softly squeezed it between her fingers. Slowly Lorwen leaned towards him while he urgently pressed his lips on hers and kissed her feverishly.

They both deepened the kiss and moved against eachother while their hands slithered over the muddied clothes, skin and hair. Both of them got so worked up about this kiss and about eachother that it costed them a great deal of effort to break it off and they returned several times to the others lips to prolongue the feeling of eachother.

"I'm sorry" he moaned, panting with desire as he pressed his lips on hers again, trying to pull away from her. "We have to..." he groaned after pulling away from her lips again and gave in with a moan until he suddenly pulled away from her all together and took some distance before turning his back to her, stumbling a few paces. "Valar" he moaned as he leaned his hands on his knees and tried to control himself.

"I want to know how it feels Elrohir" she whispered as she moved after him. "I've waited so long..." she moaned as he looked up at her without moving more than just his head. "Please" she pleaded. "Nobody has to know" she asked, pulling on his muddied shirt.

"Everybody will know" he growled and pushed himself up, grabbed hold of her and pulled her against him. "I plan to tell entire Arda that I love you and that we made love" he groaned, moving his hips against hers. "But I don't want our first time to be like this" he moaned. "Covered in mud. Hastily. On the ground in some crater. With Elladan waiting for us."

"We can't take Elladan home until his injuries have healed... Don't make me wait for that to happen" she moaned. "I want you now!"

"You don't want you first experience with love making to be special?" he asked softly, caressing her muddied cheek with his hand as he looked at her. He saw the anticipation in her eyes, he had seen it many times before when she stood on the verge of acquiring a new curriculum and it always made him smile that she was so eager to learn something new. But this time he didn't smile as it wasn't only she that would be experiencing something new and he did want it to be special, something to remember for the rest of his life.

"I want it to be with you" she whispered, looking up at him, "that will make it special enough for me."

"So eager" he sighed. "I can't Lorwen... I love you and I want you, but I want to feel your skin... Not this mudd" he muttered and ran his fingers over the drying layer on her cheek.

"I must admit... I can already feel the sand crunch between my teeth" she sighed. "I can imagine it wouldn't be... pleasant... Perhaps we should find the waterfall so we can... clean up?"

"I will make love to you" he promised, kissing her lips softly again. "Just not... right now... Although I want to" he moaned.

"I understand" she smiled.

"Do you?" he asked as they started walking towards the waterfall that they could see from where they stood. "You have no idea what it does to me when you talk about touching yourself..." slowly reaching for her hand.

"What does it do?" she asked, enjoying his hand on hers and entwined her fingers with his.

"Pretty much the same as what you feel when you... touch yourself" he moaned. "It makes me want to... make love to you" he moaned.

"Sorry" she sighed.

"No reason to be" he smiled. "In my dreams we already... went much further than that" he added and frowned when he realised something. "I didn't... Valar, please tell me I haven't behaved inappropriate towards you when you slept besides me, did I?" he moaned.

"No" she smiled, shaking her head. "You held me. It felt good. You did kiss me last night..."

"Is that why you... decided to tell me how you felt?" he asked softly.

"No" she sighed. "After what happened... What we did... I had a nightmare last night and crawling in your arms I felt safe, again. When you ran off after we woke up... I begged Elladan to tell me what I did wrong..."

"He believed I was taking advantage of you by holding you... He knows how I feel towards you... But he... obviously didn't know how you felt... You never even spoke to him about your feelings?"

"No... Why should I talk to him about what I feel for you? Orophin knows... Nobody else."

"Why Orophin?" Elrohir frowned.

"Because Ada and Rumil refused to speak to me about... love... Orophin was... openminded."

"Did he tell you how to ... touch yourself?" he whispered.

"No, of course not!" she exclaimed. "Other elleths did" she whispered and blushed again. "I learnt something new about elleths... Something I didn't expect" she whispered, lowering her gaze to the ground they walked on.

"What then?" he smirked.

"They are... very mischieveous" she sighed and averted her gaze.

"Because they touch themselves? Ellons do that to you know" he smirked. "In a way..."

"To eachother?" she asked and he nearly choked in his own tongue.

"No, not to eachother" he coughed. "I found the idea of speaking to Elladan about it embarrasing enough, let alone letting him see or do it for me?" he gasped. "You mean to say... an elleth... touched you?" he groaned.

"She wanted to show me how to... I didn't believe her when she told me how good it felt" she sighed. "Was I wrong to... let her?" she asked as he stopped walking and stared at her.

"You were right" he sighed as he continued again. "I didn't know they where this mischieveous either."

"Apparently bathing together degrades elleth's morals" she sighed. "Orophin suggested I'd stay away from the bathing area and tell nobody about what happened."

"You told him?" Elrohir exclaimed.

"According to him it was only best that I didn't tell Ada..." she nodded.

"I can imagine" Elrohir muttered.

"I think they do it because they are bored... They have nothing else to do all day long... I'm so glad I have something to live for" she sighed.

"We only talk to each other about these things" Elrohir sighed. "Not even to adar..."

"The way he freaked out when I had my first period I decided never to talk to him about elleth stuff ever again" she moaned. "Orophin found it amusing and suggested I'd talk to him since he claimed to be an "expert" on the matter... Still he doesn't know everything about elleths either" she sighed.

"You missed your naneth then, didn't you?" Elrohir sighed, pulling her against his side.

"I had Methien... but it wasn't the same" she sighed. "Water, finally" she moaned when they arrived at the river, "It's starting to dry" she added as she peeled off a part of the caked mudd of her arm.


End file.
